I kept my promise
by neryl
Summary: Just one night that changed everything...
1. Default Chapter

  
  


**Just one night**

  
  
In a traffic jam, in Mac's car.   
8:10 AM  
  
_We spent the night together. These words sounded so odd. I still can't believe it. Harm and I spent the night together. Not because we wanted to or even planned to - just because we felt good together that evening. I know, we had already spent plenty of evenings together. Why this one. Maybe because we were caught off guard.   
  
I went to his apartment at 8:41 PM. He was wearing casual clothes, jeans and a T-shirt that suited him nicely. I brought a bottle of wine, and, on second thought, it seemed more like a date - except we needed to talk about a case.   
  
He had prepared dinner, and prepared it well. Both of us just had quite a bad day and we were happy just to end it better.   
  
After dinner, we went in the living room and had coffee. We had the case file in front of us, but we never got around to it. It really was a boring case, a slam dunk, we knew we would win no matter what we did.   
  
We finally talked about Bud and Harriet and their future baby, about babies in general, and about our ridiculous bet.   
  
"If neither one of us is in a relationship in five years, we'll go halves on a baby." At the time, it was quite a nice and reassuring promise, I must admit. But now, there's only one year left.   
  
Then I made a stupid comment, something like, "I wonder why we are still single." We remained quiet for a minute. I know he was thinking about Renée. I was thinking about Mic. Just today, I learned he was going to marry a model 10 years younger than me. She must be beautiful, probably tall and blond.   
  
He broke the silence with a "So let's have that baby!" just as I was sipping my coffee. Needless to say, there was coffee all over the front of my shirt. I went to the bathroom in an attempt to get the stain out. He gave me a shirt to wear. It was a strange feeling wearing his shirt. When I came back, he looked embarrassed. I told him there was no need to be embarrassed, it was sort of funny.   
  
He gave me a surprised look and asked me if I thought he was trying to be funny. I didn't know how to respond. Then he gave me one of THOSE smiles, the kind that makes me weak in the knees. He softly stroked my cheek with his hand.   
  
I don't remember who inched closer first, or who started the kiss. But we kissed, and it didn't stop there. We just didn't want it to.   
  
It all happened yesterday. I left Harm this morning, a few hours ago. He was still sleeping. I didn't think I could face him. I still don't feel I can face him now. _  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
In Harm's apartment 8:40 AM  
  
Harm opened his eyes. He glanced at his clock. Woops, he was late. He stretched in his bed and suddenly realized what had happened the night before. Except, his bed was empty. Getting up, he walked around his apartment. No trace of her. She was gone. While preparing coffee, he remembered the previous evening.   
  
_ When I opened the door and saw her standing there, she was so pretty - as usual. Neither of us really wanted to work, so after dinner, we easily spent the evening engrossed in conversation. Mac made a comment about the loneliness and sadness in our lives. The only thing I could think of to erase her sad expression was to joke about having sex. It made her laugh so hard that she spilled coffee on her clothes. She looked beautiful in my shirt. I'd been thinking about children, and Mac would make a wonderful mother.   
  
Now, we might have spoiled everything. Last night was great, of course. Even better than anything I've ever imagined, but she fled. I suppose I can understand why. Things are different now. I don't want to lose her - I can't lose my best friend. _   
  
  
* * *  
  
  
Mac and Harm spent quite a strange day. They were relieved to be busy, never being left alone together in the same room. Mac spent her entire morning in court, Harm had an investigation outside of JAG headquarters in the afternoon. Both of them feared the moment they would have to talk about "it". They finally met at the end of the afternoon in Mac's office. She was reading a file when Harm knocked at the door.   
  
"Good evening, Mac" Harm said.   
  
"Good evening" answered Mac, looking up from her file.   
  
After a few seconds of hesitation, Harm started talking.   
  
"I think we should talk about yesterday" Harm said while closing the door.   
  
"Yeah. You're right."   
  
"I think…" Harm started, visibly embarrassed.   
  
"… it was a mistake." Mac carried on, trying to help him, but she immediately regretted her words. _ Why did I say that? _   
  
"Yes, a mistake." Things may have not changed.   
  
"It's okay then." whispered Mac, just to convince herself.   
  
They were interrupted by knocking at the door.   
  
"Come in" Mac said.   
  
Tiner opened the door and announced the admiral wanted to see Harm. When Harm left the room, Mac closed her eyes and sighed. She should have felt relieved but didn't. The same feeling invaded Harm as he walked towards the admiral's office.   
  
  
* * *  
  
  
A few Weeks later Doctor Ross' examination room.   
  
"Six weeks? Are you sure?" Mac asked the doctor.   
  
"Positive. You're pregnant. Six weeks pregnant."   
  
* * *   
  
  
  



	2. Consequences of a single night

Author notes: Thanks for the reviews! They gave me the will to write more! Sorry for the bottle of wine in the previous chapter and let's say Mac brought the dessert?   
If you have any constructive criticism about what I have written, do not hesitate!   
In the last chapter, I have forgotten to mention Morphea, my beta reader, who helps me writing in many ways. As she is not fan of the JAG (I wonder why I keep her as a friend!), I'm looking for a beta reader (mainly for grammar and vocabulary checking). If you want to, please contact me! (my e-mail is in my profile)   
  
**

Consequences of a single night 

**   
  
The same day  
In front of the doctor's office  
  
Mac left the doctor's office. It was night now, and cold. People were hurrying back home…  
She stood in front of the doctor's door for a while, just waiting to feel less dizzy. She mechanically put on her gloves while gathering and organizing her thoughts. She was quite stunned by the news she had just heard. She was pregnant…   
  
_Six weeks pregnant. And of course the father could only be Harm…_  
  
The coldness of the evening brought her back to reality. She started walking to her car. With the parking lot closed for renovations, she had a long walk to where she had parked. Two feelings were invading her. On the one hand, she was scared. Having this baby now would mean totally rehauling my life. It was not the best moment to become a parent. A lot of things needed to be straightened out in her life first. She had already thought about it, of course. But in her mind the scene should have played out differently. A loving, handsome man would be waiting for her at home. She would hurry to announce the great news. He would have been the happiest man in the world. But now…   
  
_I live alone, and my relationship with the father is…we didn't… I'm not sure… we haven't really talked since that night… What IS my relationship with the father of my baby…?? Oh, my God… My baby. It's the first time I've thought of it this way. _   
  
Now, on the other hand... Being pregnant was the kind of news that would have made her happy - under other circumstances…This budding life growing inside of her… A little part of her was trying to convince herself that it was the most beautiful day of her life, that everything would be all right. This thought had hardly crossed her mind when another followed…  
  
_Harm… A father… Of course, it sounds interesting, even quite appealing. _   
  
This thought was immediately replaced by another…  
  
_And it means announcing the great news to Harm … What will his reaction be? He likes his care free life… Would he change for a baby? I can't force him… He would feel obligated to help us… I can't have this baby… Not now.   
I can't provide him with a willing father, or a stable life. After all, I'm a marine - a lawyer - but a marine. I could be transferred out at any time. I'm not ready. Not yet… We are not ready. _   
  
She was trying to convince herself that this was definitely bad news, but it was hard. As she thought about her job, she passed a toy shop. She stopped and glanced in the window.   
  
There was a little girl standing nearly three feet from Mac. Her mother was holding her by the hand. The little girl's eyes were filled with wonder, staring at the toys…   
  
"Kate! Come! Daddy's waiting for us!"   
  
"I want the dolly with the magic pony!"   
  
"I told you no, Kate! Stop that!"   
  
"Daddy said yes!"   
  
"That's not going to fool me!"   
  
"Mom!! Please!!!"   
  
"I'll think about it if you're a good girl!"   
  
"I am, Mom!"   
  
Her mother burst out laughing.   
  
"That's what we'll see, Kate…"  
  
Then they went away…  
  
Mac looked at the doll with the magic pony in the shop window and put her hand on her belly… Maybe it was a girl…  
  
  
* * * *   
  
  
JAG headquarters  
three weeks later, 10:38 PM  
  
Harm was tidying papers, getting ready to leave the office. It was quite late and he had just finished up, but he didn't really want to go home. Lately, he found it difficult being alone in the evening. He missed something, and he refused to admit it could be his pretty colleague. That's why he was spending more and more time working. Even with all the extra work, it still wasn't enough to fill the void. As soon as he had a spare moment, his thoughts would drift to Mac and the night they spent together.   
  
Since that fateful day, both had avoided being in the same room, or even talking to each other. When they had no choice, the atmosphere in the room became icy. The distance between them was growing, reaching a level it never had before, and they were allowing it to get worse. They didn't realize that everybody noticed it. Of course Bud and Harriet tried to help sort things out, but in vain: their friends couldn't fix a situation they refused to face.   
  
Finally, Harm decided to take the files home and grabbed his keys. He turned off the lights, and closed the door. He realized there was light coming from the Admiral's office. He knocked at his door and, after hearing "come in", entered the office.   
Chegwidden raised his eyes from the papers he was reading.   
  
"Commander Rabb! Still working?"   
  
"I was working on Lieutenant Kendry's case for court tomorrow. I didn't notice the time." Harm said with a smile.   
  
"The desertion? It's not that hard a case?" the Admiral asked, knowing the answer perfectly well.   
  
"No. But one can never be over prepared."   
  
"Work is not the best way to be spending an evening…" the Admiral sighed.   
  
"You are here too." Harm said teasingly.   
  
"I have a lot of boring paperwork that needs my signature by tomorrow."   
  
"I won't bother you any longer. Good night, Admiral!" Harm said as he walked towards the door.   
  
"Commander," called the Admiral, "Wait, I'd like to talk to you. Come on and have a seat!" invited Chegwidden, indicating the chair.   
  
Harm walked back and sat waiting for the Admiral to go on. He was quite intrigued.   
  
"I'd like to speak to you about Colonel MacKenzie." Chegwidden started, crossing his hands. He didn't like interfering into the private life of his officers but he had to. On a more human plan, he was sad to see them spoiling their relationship the way they did.   
  
As for Harm, he suddenly felt embarrassed and amazed. The memory of the night with Mac - the very memory he tried to forget so hard - became more present than ever in his mind.   
  
"I don't know what happened between the two of you, and I don't want to know." the Admiral went on ignoring the Commander's obvious embarrassment.   
  
"I mean… it's none of my business, but when the consequences begin to affect the performance of your job… Everybody has noticed the tension between the two of you, and how it is affecting your work…"  
  
AJ raised his hand stopping Harm from interrupting, forcing him to keep listening.   
  
"You can't go on this way. I've spoken with the Colonel. Now I'm speaking to you. Clear it up or I'll have to do something. It's a warning. I can't let you two threaten the efficiency of this office. I expect you understand the probable repercussions if you don't solve this problem. I won't be able to let it go this time… "  
  
He paused to make sure Harm understood correctly. The Commander remained quiet, and looked worried. He hadn't imagined that the night spent with Mac would change things so much, not only between them, but also with the rest of the world.   
  
The Admiral went on, in a kinder way…  
  
"Now, as a friend… She has changed. I don't know what you did to her, or what she did…you're both consenting adults. I know the situation has never been very clear between the two of you. But this time it seems you went too far… Be careful."   
  
"I didn't realize it was so obvious… Recently it got complicated…" Harm tried to explain. He knew that no explanation could make things better, and telling the truth to the Admiral was out of the question.   
  
"I know. That's the point. You have something to clear up, and the sooner, the better…"  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
Mac's apartment  
11:14 PM  
  
Mac was in her kitchen, and more precisely, she was in front of her fridge. She was looking for something to eat.   
  
_A piece of chocolate cake, no… Yogurt, no… Not fruit either… But this chicken wing seems quite appetizing… _  
  
Mac took the chicken wing and the piece of chocolate cake out of the fridge - it would be a pity to let it go stale. She started eating. She had been eating so much the last few days, it was impressive even for her. She suffered from morning sickness, which was more unpleasant. After a few minutes, she had finished the chicken wing and even the cake. She went to bed falling asleep almost immediately.   
  
After three weeks thinking about whether or not to have this baby, she was no longer hesitating; she knew what she would do.   
  
  
****   
  
  



	3. Stress

Author Notes : The whole story has been beta'd in American English, so it will be easier to read! Thanks to my new beta reader, Chris, for her advice!  
I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter!   
  


**Stress **

  
  
  
The next day – Wednesday, April 14th   
2:45 PM   
  
Harm was in his office, going over files. He couldn't concentrate on them. The only thing he could think about was the Kendry trial this morning. It left him with a strange feeling. Mac was defending, and as usual, brilliantly defending. She didn't make things easy for him. She succeeded in obtaining a light penalty for the Lieutenant. He admired the way she did that.   
  
What worried him more was her tired face. Some of her reactions made him think that something was wrong. For instance, she arrived late to the trial, which was unlike her. To someone who didn't know the Colonel well, it would have seemed a normal trial, but Harm had noticed a slight change in her behaviour.   
  
Putting his pen on his desk, he decided to talk to her. He walked over to her office and knocked firmly at the door. Hearing "Enter" he turned the knob.   
  
"Harm," Mac said, "What can I do for you?"   
  
Her voice sounded cooler than she intended. It caught Harm off guard.   
  
"I just wanted to see if you were all right …" he replied.   
  
"I'm OK. Why?"   
  
She couldn't help being nervous. She was exhausted and had too much work to do. The morning sickness she'd been experiencing the last four days hadn't let her get a good night's sleep. More so, she hesitated to tell Harm the truth right now.   
  
As for Harm, he sensed a quarrel was imminent, he didn't want to start anything.   
  
"You looked tired in court this morning. Is there a reason I should be worried about you?" Harm inquired.   
  
"No, there isn't… Excuse me… It's kind of you to ask. I feel fine. Tired, but fine." Mac said, managing to recover her good manners.   
  
"I wonder if we could have dinner together this evening."   
  
Mac watched him, puzzled. That would be a good idea but the last time they had dinner together…   
  
"I don't think dinner would be a good idea." Mac answered.   
  
"I mean… We need to talk, Sarah…" Harm insisted.   
  
On hearing him call her Sarah, her resolution began to dissolve.   
  
"Maybe."   
  
"Let's say 7:00PM? At my place?"   
  
"Well…I don't think that would be a good idea." Mac hesitated.   
  
"If you can control yourself, I promise to do the same" Harm teased, smiling.   
  
"That's not what I meant. Don't be so confident in your charms, flyboy…"   
  
She didn't know why but she started panicking. She wasn't ready to tell him yet… Of course he had to know, but not like that. She was just managing to get used to becoming a mother… On the other hand, she couldn't deny him knowing he was going to be a father.   
  
"What are you afraid of, Sarah? Being alone with me?" exclaimed Harm.   
  
"I'm not…" answered Mac very quickly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.   
  
_I'm afraid of your reaction, of what you may or may not say. Afraid of your smile making me lose control. Afraid of what will happen when you know…_  
  
"I need time." Mac went on, while getting up and crossing her arms nervously.   
  
"We've had nearly two months. We've had enough time. I don't want to wait any more, I need an explanation. Mac, can't you see how our friendship is slipping away again?"   
  
"Yes, I can. BUT, just because Commander Harmon Rabb decided so today, it's explanation time? What about me? What about what I want?"   
  
"OK, so what do you want? Tell me Mac, I'd like to know."   
  
Only silence followed Harm's words. As he was hanging on, waiting for Mac's response, he saw her right hand tightening on the back of her chair.   
  
"Sarah" Harm whispered as he saw her swaying. He rushed towards her to prevent her from falling.   
  
  
****   
  
  
A few hours later  
In the hospital  
  
Harm was sitting next to Mac's bed at Bethesda hospital. The doctor had finished with the exams, and she was still sleeping. He wouldn't tell Harm anything except that she would be OK. She needed rest - a lot of rest - and to stay stress free. Then he let Harm in the room to wait for his colleague to wake up. The Admiral and Harriet, who came to support him, went back home relieved. But Harm remained concerned about her fainting. It was mainly due to stress.   
  
_Stress? What kind of stress? She didn't talk to me about it. Maybe it was linked to our relationship… I wasn't there for her and now…It's my fault…_  
  
He was thinking over the last several days, trying to find something that might give him a clue as to what might be going on. But he hadn't really seen much of her. With a sigh, he reached over and took Mac's hand. He had been so scared when he saw her faint.   
  
The first thing Mac saw when she woke up was a worried Harm sitting next to her bed. A kind of fog was invading her mind. She vaguely remembered speaking with Harm at the office, but then, everything went blank.   
  
On seeing her opening her eyes, he leaned forward to talk with her.   
  
"You fainted. How do you feel?" Harm asked gently.   
  
"A bit foggy. Then a horrible thought crossed her mind.  
"What did the doctor say?" Mac went on, starting to fear she might have lost her baby.   
  
"He said you fainted because of stress and that you need rest." Harm answered, wondering why she started fidgeting.   
  
"Did he say anything else?" she asked anxiously.   
  
"No, he didn't."   
  
"I want to talk to him..." she said a little too loudly.   
  
"Okay, I'll go and get him. But please, stay calm!" Harm interrupted, getting up from his chair to get the doctor.   
  
Harm returned a few minutes later with the doctor. Harm left the Dr. with Mac, and waited outside the room. Harm was a bit startled by Mac's reaction. It was as if she feared something more serious.   
  
"How do you feel, Colonel?" the doctor asked.   
  
"Tell me Doctor, how is the baby?" Sarah whispered.   
  
  
****   
  
  
Oh, what a cliff-hanger!! Just let me know what you want to happen in a review!!! ;-) 


End file.
